Parthasarathy Rengaswami, EzineArticles Platinum Author

Saturday, April 19, 2014

10. Dating Advice For men - What If You Are Attracted To A Great Looking Woman?


Are you an average guy? If you think and believe that you are extraordinary, then perhaps this articles is not for you. This post is addressed to a man who considers himself average. the use of 'You' is for convenience. Don't take it personal and read on. You may find some ideas you can use in your dating relationship!

Okay. So, you are an average guy - both in terms of looks, skills and brains. Suddenly you find that you are attracted to a fabulous woman - a gorgeous woman with stunning looks and the cynosure of all male eyes.This is not a dream but a real thing. He comes to you on her own and befriends you and throws all hints of loving you. what will be your reaction?

You will think:
a) I am extremely lucky.
b) I deserve it. After all I have a charming personality.
c) It may not last. But let me enjoy till it lasts.

About 70% of men will choose (a), about 25% (c) and only 5% (b)

If you choose (c), most probably, you will be proved right. The girl will leave you after some time.

Most of the people choose (a) because they have no self esteem. Let us see, what will happen if you choose (a). Since you deem it your luck that this great looking girl has chosen you, you will be worried that the luck should last. You will do things to ensure that the girl sticks with you. You will go out of the way to please her. You will exhibit sycophantic behavior.You will treat her not as a girlfriend but as God. Your behavior will make the woman realize that you do not consider yourself worthy of her love. Your desperation and frenzy will make her rethink about choosing to love you and will eventually convince you that you do not deserve her. And she will desert you. So, you will be in the same position of a person who chose (c)

If you had the luck to get the love of a great looking woman, the right thing for you will be to become proud of getting her. You should tell yourself that you deserve such a great person as your partner and you have earned her love in a rightful way. When you approach her with this attitude, an attitude fortified by confidence and conviction, then you will find that your girl will start thinking that she should not lose you. She will love you even more.

Now, if you get into a position like this, remember to choose the right option, which is (b)

Monday, April 7, 2014

9. Signs of a Troubled Marriage


There can be a large number of signs of a troubled marriage, signs of myriad types. But some signs indicate that the marriage is in real trouble and needs immediate help if it is to be saved. here are some commonly observed signs that show that things have reached a stage where patch work solutions will not work.

1) The couple fight over petty issues: Do not all couples do it? Yes, of course. Fighting over trivial issues is so common that this may even be considered a sign of a healthy marriage. But there is a difference. The husband and wife start fighting over petty issues but the fight invariably escalates into something serious. It is like a story we sometimes read in the newspaper about a silly altercation between two people over petty issue ending up in a murder. In the case of marriage, small fights develop into big fights resulting in the death of marriage.

2) Threatening and Yelling become common features: If either or both of the spouses indulge in shouting or issuing threats, it is an indication that the marriage is in serious trouble. These reactions are a reflection of the contempt that has developed in the relationship. This cannot be good for the long term survival of the marriage.

3) Sleeping in separate couches or bedrooms become a common feature: A husband and wife becoming averse to sharing their bed or room with the other is perhaps the most ominous sign of an impending break up of the marriage.

Yet, the reality is that both are desperate to be loved and accepted. Only thing is that they are unable to find the love in their marriage partner. Perhaps, they will try various things from self help books to marriage counseling but may end up in frustration, with nothing working for them.

Well all along I have been using third person pronouns, as if I have been talking about some unknown people. But if you feel that some of the signs mentioned above are found in your marriage too, do not despair. There is a simple yet effective way to stop divorce and save your marriage.

Friday, April 26, 2013

8. What Makes a Relationship Truly Work



They say that good communication is the number one requirement in a successful relationship. However, this does not always happen. You sometimes keep things from each other because you don’t like confrontations and arguments. In the end, the frustration builds up until the gap widens. If you want to make things work, you need to bridge this gap. One way to do this is to finally open up to each other. You and your loved one need to thresh out all your feelings and opinions about something.

Hurt Isn't Always Bad

Just know that when you hurt each other, it’s a sign that you still care. Couples who have grown out of love tend to be distant and indifferent. Hence, it’s time to sit down together and make plans. If you’re about to make a decision that affects and changes your future, weigh all the options that you have. Discuss all the points. In order to do this, you need to set aside some time for the long discussion. Keep things light even if the topic is serious. This means that you need to hear each other out. See things from the other perspective and understand why people feel differently.

When it’s your turn to air out your points, make your feelings clear. This means that you need to be as honest as possible. Don’t leave out details. This might be something your partner is against, but then again, that’s why you need to make the fact that you may not always agree on something clear from the very beginning. If your partner is opposed to it, weigh the pros and cons. This is actually when you can see who makes a stronger point. All the while, be open to each other’s opinions. This may be your time to ask questions as well. The fact that you’re both ready to listen to each other already makes a world of difference. Remember this when you start to argue.

It's About Compromise

Identify a common goal. How do you see your future together? It’s nice to see that you actually are aiming for the same thing. The timetable may vary, but still, you want what’s best for the both of you. Always be sensitive to one another. This is the time where you have to be watchful of the words you use because this can really hurt the other person. When there is pain, then the whole planning process becomes more tedious. Always start by telling them that you do understand where they’re coming from. 

As you work towards making a great future as a couple, you can make things a lot easier by making sure you have your own tasks to fulfill. Duties won’t seem as daunting when you know that you actually have help along the way and that there is also someone out there looking out for you. Being a couple means that you have a partner in life and that you just can’t always think about yourself. Be selfless and make your loved one feel that you value them.

Friday, March 15, 2013

7. Who Needs Relationship Advice?


Do you need relationship advice, you may say no. This is likely to be your answer even if you have relationship problems. So, it is not that people do not need relationship advice. It is just that they are not inclined to take this advice from others. They may not mind going to an expert and paying him a hefty fee for his advice, though.


Just because relationship advice comes free and is often offered unsolicited, it should not be ignored. Any advice has its value. For example, if I tell you that having an argument late at night is a not good for relationship, you may feel that this is unrealistic since many arguments take place only in the late night, especially when one or both of the partners are not getting a sleep! But a fact is a fact. If you can discipline yourself to avoid arguments in late nights even if your partner is aggressive, you will be able to make your relationship much stronger. You may even be able to have more control during the day making up for what you have put up with in the night!

Therefore, relationship advice can be highly useful. Though advice often comes unsolicited, sometimes, you need to go looking for advice. While you will have professional marriage counselors ready to help you, you can also take the help of people from your family, community, church etc. Family support can be one of the most effective resources, even if the people live far away from you. Make it a point to have good relationship with your partner’s family. You will find this valuable in resolving any problem that may develop between you and your partner in future.

Family support is vitally important, even if they live far away. Strive to be courteous to your partner's family, and expect for your partner to be courteous to yours. This is a good minimum standard for both of you to have for each other, because when the time comes that both of you need some support, they should be there for you at least to the extent you were there for them. 

Advice on relationships is something you need both in times of bonhomie and conflicts. Such advice will help in building a strong bond between the two of you.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

6. How To Find Mr Right From Online World



Girls  searching for the right partner have this question constantly taunting them? How to find Mr.Right in the online world? A simple answer will be to ask you to join an online dating site. But selecting the right site may be a problem.  Before you can find Mr. Right, you need to find the Tight Online Dating Site! The best site is not necessarily the most popular site but you have to start your searches only among the popular sites.
Since your objective is to find the elusive Mr. Right, you have to scrupulously avoid those run of the mill sites that while offering a host of services will be limited in offering the choices because of their catering to people who look for people with the same interests as they have. So browse through several sites and choose one which your hunch says will be good for you.

The most important step in finding Mr. Right is to fill your profile the right way. Do not do it casually.  Do it as if you are filling it up in connection with a job application. Be specific and detailed about who you are as a person and where your interests lie. If your prospect finds as much as possible about you, he will be the Mr. Right for you if he picks you up as his choice.

You can also be proactive in your aim to find Mr. Right by looking at the profiles of men listed in the site and picking up the one with a profile that jibes with yours. You may be both skeptical about finding Mr. Right and apprehensive about the safety of these sites.  Since a very large number of people use these sites, your chance of finding a good match for you are very good. You need not worry about the confidentiality of the information keyed in by you since these sites will not give out your information to others. They  have to do this in their own interest of making their services trustworthy.

What you do after finding a prospect is important. Please observe these precautions.
  1.    Never invite any prospect to your house. Met him only at a public place.
  2.  Arrange for a friend or chaperone to be present at a place  close enough to observe you without disturbing your privacy.

  3.  Leave information about the meeting place to someone near to you

    You can safely venture on to find Mr. Right by taking the above precautions. 


Sunday, January 20, 2013

5. Should You Put Up With Rudeness In Recession Dating Relationships?


Some people may believe that one should put up with rudeness in recession dating? Recession dating refers to a situation in which your partner is affected by recession and rudeness becomes his characteristic behavior. My suggestion will be you should never put up with rudeness even in a recession dating relationship. Your partner should understand that rudeness will not take him anywhere except towards alienation.

If you want to be understanding and sympathetic and decide to put up with their rudeness, then you will be signing up for a life of abuse. Do not kid yourself into believing that once the financial troubles of your partner are over, he will become affable. Aggression has an addictive quality. If people find that rudeness gives them dividends, they will never give it up.

Please understand that financial problems caused by recession are no excuse for displaying rudeness in a dating relationship. If someone thinks that his financial position justifies his rudeness, he should keep away from dating till he succeeds in rectifying his financial position.

In fact, display of rudeness is an indication of how a person has been brought up. You can find a person’s inclination to be rude by the way he behaves with the restaurant staff when he takes you out for lunch or dinner. If he treats the waiters as people created by God to serve men like him, that is an indication of how he will behave with you in future. Later he may think that you have been created to take care of him and treat you not like a human being but like an object owned by him!

Do not rationalize the rudeness of your partner using recession as the cause. Recession may just be an excuse. Rudeness is likely to be his trait and if you put up with rudeness in a dating relationship, you will have to put up with his rudeness throughout your life. 

Friday, January 18, 2013

4. Does Your Relationship Endure the Test Of Time


Only some relationships endure the test of time. Is your relationship one such? If not, what is it that you can do to make your relationship stronger and capable of enduring the test of time? We will try to find some answers to these questions.

A relationship that endures the test of time is built on certain strong pillars to support it from falling apart in times of quakes and turmoil. Such a relationship has certain characteristics.

1)      The relationship should give content to both the parties. There are many relationships in which only one side is happy and the other side is not. Strangely the person who is happy about the relationship is not even aware that the other person is not! So, the relationship goes on well for all outward appearances. We sometimes hear people saying about people in a relationship that they should be happy since the relationship is continuing. Being physically together for long is not necessarily a sign of an enduring relationship.

2)      There should be free communication between the partners. A relationship that does not have free communication between the partners is no better than a relationship that has broken. Free communication is different from routine, formal and pretentious communication.

3)      Each partner should miss the absence of the other. If your partner is away for sometime, do you miss their absence? And does your partner miss your absence? This is one of the most reliable test of closeness in a relationship. If you and your partner fulfill this criterion, then your relationship has a chance to endure the test of time even if it is lacking some other criteria.  

Do a quick check to satisfy that your relationship passes the above three tests. If it does not, you will have to identify its weaknesses and start working on them.